For some time, I have been in a season unlike any in my walk with the Lord. Every day, often multiple times a day, I feel almost incapacitated by a sense of my own sinfulness. This awareness usually comes through a moment of failure, a mistake made, a motive exposed. Much of the time, the casual observer wouldn't see anything momentous or heinous occur. But to me, even a pebble-sized fault feels like a soul-crushing avalanche.
I am grateful I have been crucified with Christ. I can't be cured, fixed, or made better. Death is the only solution to me. Thank God I no longer live, and that Christ lives in me. Day to day, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me (Gal. 2:20). Why He loves me (who has no attractiveness or purity) is beyond my comprehension. It is enough for me--it is more than enough for me--to simply believe that He does. And I thank Him that He did not leave me as I am but put me to death so that His beauty & purity could live in me.
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